Words and Actions: The Alignment That Defines Us

One of the quickest ways to lose my trust is when your words and your actions don’t match. I’m not the type to sit back and watch someone’s behavior make me look foolish. Words are easy. Promises roll off tongues without much thought. But it’s the actions—the daily choices, the quiet consistencies—that reveal where someone’s true loyalty and respect lie.

If you’re “chosen” by someone, if they claim you matter, then their actions should prove it. Respect isn’t spoken—it’s shown. You shouldn’t have to piece together mixed signals or excuse neglect just because someone says they value you. If they choose you, their time, effort, and energy should reflect that choice.

I have a habit of seeing the best in people. I don’t regret that about myself. At the end of the day, I lose nothing by choosing to find value in everyone. But if I’m honest, it’s also the very thing that has burned me again and again. When you look at people through the lens of hope, it becomes easy to explain away actions that don’t align with their words. You tell yourself they’re trying. You tell yourself they mean well. But the truth is, when someone shows you who they are through repeated behavior, it’s your responsibility to pay attention.

Even so, I don’t believe anyone is inherently evil. More often than not, it’s the trauma, the hurt, the anger, and the unhealed pieces of people that speak louder than they realize. Sometimes brokenness bleeds onto others. But here’s the truth I’ve learned: no matter what you’ve been through, you are still accountable for the promises you make. Never be the person who says one thing and does another. Because at the end of our lives, we only take one thing with us—our word.

And that’s where our power lies. We can’t control what others do to us, but we can control what comes out of our mouths, and we can choose to make sure our actions back it up. If you can’t keep a promise, don’t make it. If you can’t commit, don’t say you will. That doesn’t make you weak—it makes you honest. That doesn’t make you cold—it makes you healing.

I wasn’t always this version of myself. It took years of anger, hurt, pain, and disappointment to get here. For a long time, I mirrored the chaos I had experienced. I let bitterness shape my choices, I let grief silence my better judgment, and I let other people’s brokenness teach me how to break myself. But eventually, I realized that the greatest act of strength wasn’t in carrying those things—it was in laying them down.

So, I decided to let my past be the example of the people I didn’t want to become. I chose to align what I say with what I do. Even if that means saying something someone doesn’t want to hear, I’d rather speak a hard truth and live in integrity than comfort someone with words I don’t intend to stand behind.

Because when someone’s actions contradict their words, they’re not just disrespecting you—they’re telling you exactly where you stand in their life. And you don’t need to stick around for that kind of treatment. Protecting your peace sometimes means walking away, even when it hurts, and saving your energy for the people who consistently show up for you the way they say they will.

Choose to surround yourself with people whose words and actions echo the same truth. And then—be one of those people. Respect yourself enough to expect consistency, not just from others but from yourself. Because at the end of it all, legacy isn’t built on the things we claimed, but on the lives we touched, the promises we kept, and the love we gave freely and consistently.

If all I have when I leave this earth is the fact that I kept my word, that I loved without condition, and that my actions matched the promises I made—I can’t think of a better way to live.